I have written this many years ago. I didn't fully believe in what I have written. This was my personal explanation to hearing voices and what they told me and how they behaved.

You should read the whole story first of all, to understand better.
I was writing a diary and was writing about my father when an angel appeared in the room. He came through the door and I was not allowed to see it. My eyes started to itch and I closed my eyes. Someone in a white robe entered the room and a sign appeared over some pages in the book. Then a demon face appeared on the window. From then on I could see lots of faces on windows or curtains. They were like drawings with a pencil. Then one day the face of Jesus appeared. He came into my room it was the living room and sat on the couch and talked to me.
He said, the faces I see are real! That they are demons and they make me feel bad, where the face of Jesus did not make me feel bad. They are here because I have done something wrong with money. Like I lived as a single mother and got state benefits. even so my ex-boyfriend and friend helped. I was not alone.
I told him I am angry. I am a victim of crime and fraud and lots of bad things happened during childhood. That Jesus said, that it is ok everyone has the right to fight. But from now on I should go to church. I have done this but not regularly and still don't do this regularly.
He told me as I was sewing during the night that I listen to demons. that these demons could destroy my live.
How is this possible? I knew at this time nothing about how God or Demons work. I was still more an atheist, new to Christianity.
Afterwards throughout many years I learned what that means. Jesus as well has told me that I should not talk bad to me. I still does this when I feel very bad. That I am bad, stupid, and so on. He was actually upset about this. He said I was a runner as I had run away from my mother. So as Atheist you don't know how to deal with stress, aggressieve people and difficult times. Where Christians learn this, but as a non-Christian you rather retaliate, want revenge. He couldn't believe that I had done this. And it was of course dangerous. He said I should go to church, I should live. He had said as well that I should go to work and I can do the things I wanted to do. Like doing fashion design, as I was sewing.

I am from Germany on the French border. Half of my family is partly from East Germany near Berlin. They went to West Germany and settled into a beautiful town. At home they had a house, the first one was bombed down. So with the second house they given up and pets and new furnitures and new cutleries and the Gutenberg Bible. In West Germany they got a council flat, but a sweet beautiful one with a little garden in a lovely smelly street. I loved it there. My grandpa had been in Kriegsgefangenschaft for 7 years and had survived. Could talk Russian and was in his normal proffession a tailor. Yet there he was working in the next big city just as a helper. So I saw him always sewing at home for customers and that made me feel safe. So sewing is by me associated with safety and I love it.

My mother was the best looking, intelligent, talented and angryperson. She got married when she got me and then got 2 more children. She use to beat up a lot my brother. Once he was braking the curtain in the living room. He was just 4. She run after him screaming and with a cooking stick in her hand, wanting to beat him with this.
She was beautiful and angry and behaved towards us as a bully. She was verbally biting us. She simply wanted to work, but with 3 children you couldn't at this time. There were not the right childcare facilities so that mothers could go back to work. She was very angry.
She believed in the new Germany. This country is pretty, and lots of things were going right. The industry was growing and we had more as it seemed as people in England or America.
My father was a soldier just in order to pay the bills. Yet he no solder, rather comes across as a social worker. He is rather a quiet type. So we lived then in different cities and different social housing estates, mixed with normal people.


I don't know what happened, but that was a bad things to do. We then moved to Boeblingen and there it was hell. I got very bad school marks throughout the years. That means after lots of B's I got c, d's and lots of f's. I was for years beaten up by the other kids just 1 or 2 years older then me. So to this day I have always the feeling to have missed out in school and I am still on several courses. I like to learn and I always think about what course to do next. So why did I got bad marks? Is there some secret thing going on to kill some children? I 100% believe that it was fraud, that I was defrauded. Since this time I am seen as the bad girl. And I find that this is reason to work on htis subject politically and with the law.

Because of all this we got a house from an uncle. My father had talent in rebuilding the old farm house and so we move to the country side and there it just continued. So I had developed paranoia and got physically a bit sick. I felt weak and dizzy quite often and was eating chocolate to make me feel better. So question why did this happen to me the whole time and to our family?
It is still the question today. Children were throwing stones at us as half of the family was East Germans? I don't know.

So I met an English girl who got a top notch job in a Berlin in a theater and she told me about the English school system. So I planned to go to London and I am still living here in London.

Dear Bridget,
Please forgive me,but I didnt quite understand your message. Are you talking abot conspiracies or about ancestors? I would really apreciate if you'd be so kind to explain a little more.
Blessed be. Thank you.